Occae et harumb bet theap. Est praesent luptatum. Ha! Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Yoii rockem sockem mow-em yown. Manarie li que vaqeriao.
you can delete the dummy text and insert your own :)

xxx

xxx

xxx

xxx

HI.

bold strikeout italics underline
your profile here!

» archives »August 2009 »September 2009 »October 2009 »November 2009 »January 2010 »February 2010 »September 2010 »October 2010 »January 2011

I hate it whenever we fight ): It makes me so weak and sad. It affects everything and I'm not in the mood to do anything. Everytime we fight, all I wanna do is hug you so tight and tell you that I want to stop. We've been fighting alot for a couple of days now and I try to stop myself from having arguements but sometimes i just feel the need to say whatever I feel.

We'll get through this together. just came to say how much i love you and how much you mean to me :)
thats it bye bitch :DD laafff you <3
JM How long do I have to hold on? Why am I so scared of losing you even if your not mine? I don't know where we stand at this point. I'm happy yet confused at the same time. I've been wishing for you to be officially mine. No, it's not about the status about being in a relationship - I guess it's more on your my guy, my one and only and the fact that we're actually committed to eachother. I promised, You promised, We both promised that we're not going to leave each other and to be honest, not being with you is what scares me the most knowing the fact that I got way too attached to you. Last night, I tried but I couldn't sleep .. thoughts of you were in my head.

I woke up and realized that everyday my feelings towards you seems to grow deeper and stronger. It came to the point where I can't control it anymore, I mean no matter how much I try to ignore and forget about it, the feelings that I have for you will always be there. I know I need to stop and let myself rest because sooner or later heartaches will start to get thrown at me and I need to prepare for all the possibilities that may happen or at least consider each one of them whether it's good or bad. It's easy to say to give up but by doing it so, it would be too difficult for me to handle. I really need to learn how to cope in this whole situation and at least if things turn bad, I can still stand up on my own and keep my head up high. I'm sorry if this is what I feel about you, I never had any intention on falling for anyone at this moment. This is one of my sleepless nights when I just think about everything, I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm so full of doubt, questions, thoughts - its insane, my heads going to explode soon and I'm stupid for still hoping that maybe one day .. i miss blogspot, LOL. I have to start writing again ):

Hm, just a thought. I guess I've gone overboard with everything but sometimes I just can't help it. There's too much things going through my head and I can't balance everything out. I'm so lost right now and I don't know what to do. I know what I want at this moment. BLAH, MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE SOON. There's way too much things that I want to say but where do I start?

- You, why are you bringing up memories? Yea, we miss each other but that's all i'm ever gonna feel. Nothing else. You've had so much chances to prove yourself to me, but you didn't take advantage of it. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with the same shit all the time.

- You, you're just a typical boy who flirts around. One thing I hate about you is your cockyness. You may be a cutie but when it comes to being real, you just act fake just to get what you want. Girls fall for you so easily cause of your lies with sprinkled sweet words on top, how fancy. I just don't like the way how your treating all the girls you flirt with especially your girlfriend. I honestly want to slap you if she'd let me, its for your girlfriend. She does so much for you yet you repay her with your own bullshit. She loves you too much and just cause you think shes gonna be around the whole time doesn't mean you can go fucking yourself up with all these chicks you got. Don't even bother trying to get back with me, you never learn. It's not gona work out and I respect your damn girlfriend. MAN UP, what you're doing is not cool.

- You, this is all we'll ever be. Sad, but there's still a little hope inside me that there could be a possibility.

ONLY YOU, can make me laugh so easily. Make me smile when you text me, or give me butterflies when you say the cutest things. I can’t help how my knees get weak when you walk towards me, and how pink my cheeks get when you look at me. Just know, that only you can make these things happen. Nobody else but you.

i'm done for the day. OMG, what irritates me the most is people lying.
I don't like it when people hide things, actually I HATE IT.

Honestly, what's so hard about telling the truth? K, I'm not that STUPID. I know when something is up, I know when you lie to me in front of my face, I know if you're hiding something - but then again, I'm just not saying anything. You've lied to me so much times already in such a short time. Don't I deserve to know the truth after all that we've been through, c'mon. We've been friends for a long ass time and we've gotten so much closer this year. I cant believe you would have done such thing, I really never expected you to go overboard or make the situation worse. You're not a good liar, just saying. You think you can get away with it? Well, no you're wrong. I trusted you. But you just proved yourself that you're not a REAL friend and not worth my time. I thought you'd prove me wrong, you've made things much worse than before and seriously out all people, WHY YOU. You think of yourself too much. After what we've been through, you should know me by now. You should know how it would affect me because of what happened in the past, You should know what I'm thinking in this kind of situation hence you were there when it happened and lastly, you should know how much it would hurt me. All I'm saying is I want you to tell me the truth even if it hurts rather than hearing it from someone else.

I've had enough of this shit going on. Oh believe me, I tried and tried to forget about everything yet each day that passes by gets more complicated than before. New shit gets revealed to the point where I can't stand it anymore. If you're reading this, I'm sorry but I've given you ENOUGH chances to prove yourself yet you still do nothing but sit and pretend that nothing happpened. It doesn't work that way and especially ONE OF MY 'SUPPOSEDLY' BEST FRIEND did that to me. If you're really sorry you'd stop the 'sorry' act and do something bout it.

.. Oh please, stop saying BULLSHIT to other people. You know what I mean, I don't need to tell you what it is. If you don't know what I'm talking about, figure it out yourself. I can't get over the fact that you snaked me no matter how much I try to forget about it. If your really my friend, you would sacrifice something for me. It's funny cause you fully said your done with all this shit and you're giving him up yet your still ranting, crying, hating, getting mad about it whatever name it - What does that say about you? Say it if you really mean it. The PAIN definitely lessen, but my ANGER grew so much more that it's turning into HATE.

'WHATEVER, SHE'S HURT. CAN'T SHE SEE I'M HAPPY W/HIM? PPL DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM'
sounds familiar? Well, Let's do a recap here buddy. Whatever she's hurt; Just cause you got hurt it doesn't mean you HAVE to do it to someone else. You're not the only one who's hurt in the world, relax. About feelings, Didn't I have feelings for him too? So why can't you try to understand my situation. Can't she see I'm happy with him? OH YA, DEFINITELY. I can see it, Yknow, Just getting at the guy who my best friend likes no big. Wow, get over yourself - you think of yourself too much.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. Yea,that's right. I can't. I just simply can't.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLY RIDICULOUS.

we want what we can't have, get what we don't deserve & dream the impossible.

Like a clown, I put on a show.
The pain is real even if nobody knows.
I pretend that I’m glad you went away.
These walls are closing more every day
and I’m dying inside.. and nobody knows
it but me.

I don't know why this is such a big deal to me - nothing happened. I have so much questions and sadly, im so desperate to know them.
I hate the feeling when I know something's not right
I hate the feeling when I know the answer is infront of me
yet, i try to ignore it & what I mostly hate is
when you think the person is feeling the same way but you find out that its the total opposite, you see the irony right ?

It's clearly not the end of the world, but in some point of
someone's life, they would obv feel like the world just shattered right infront of them - WHAT CAN YOU REALLY DO ?

I know I have a heart, cause i feel it breaking at this moment.
I've been blinded a couple of times already by certain people that I fell
head over heels for and end up doing the same thing over and over
just like the story that everyone knows; One heart is holding on while the other
is letting go. Simple right ?

LIKE & LOVE. They're obviously not the same thing.
People TEND to get these two words mixed up.
Liking someone is loving their company & always get this feeling that you wana jump so high whenever you hear their voice, see their eyes gaze into yours & the words that makes you the happiest girl. Am I right?!
K, basically, it's infatuation.
& LOVE... a REALLY STRONG word that everyone uses in their daily lives. Most of us don't really know what it means including me. But I guess when you love someone, everybody has their own definition.
That's the thing though, alot of us misinterpret what it actually means.
WE (all), should learn and think deeper about it, not take advantage of it.

I'm just saying this in general.

Honestly, it's natural to cry. It's part of the healing process and helps
you build up your strenght. But if you only knew how much it kills me inside.
Yes, I go overboard. What if you're in my place .. wouldn't you feel the same way.
There are BARELY people that understand my sitaution as of now and I'm thankful for
having them by my side. No matter how much tears I shed, I doubt he's goin to pop out and say it was a joke.

Im NOT looking for any guy atm.
But how come everytime I have feelings for someone
which is unexpected, I always get hurt. I've had alot of experiences with guys
already but i feels like I never learn anything from them.
They're all the same, full of bs.
It's like a never ending flattering routine for them and when they've had enough to
make the girl realize they're into them,that's when they leave, ALL OF THEM.

So, anyone else wanna break my heart ?

-knzamora.

your tagboard here. the tagboard's width should be 490px to fit in nice and sweetly.

link link link link link link
layout by leen. :)